Whenever I sit and try to think of a list of my “components”, I always marvel at the sheer random complexity that is me. If you are what I like to call a “people-watcher”, I will leave you baffled and looking for a new hobby. When people think they have me figured out, they are always staggered by a wild card type fact that changes everything they thought they knew about me. This presents a dilemma in my life, the proverbial “double-edged sword” or the Gift, disguised as a Curse. Even though I stay a step ahead of anyone trying to take advantage of me, I also, subconsciously, built a fortress around me with walls too tall for anyone to care to penetrate or climb over. My life has become a collection of temporary feelings, and seasonal affection. Not just romantically, bust even on the platonic friend level. I’ve had a wide collection of “best friends” and “significant others” who I later found out I was never very significant to.
Let me give few examples of the factors that make this equation: I make all these different playlists in my iPod based on the mood I’m in or the direction my day is going. These playlist will be as random as hearing Smokie Norful’s “I Need You Now” immediately followed by Beanie Sigel’s “Fuck Jada”. Jay-Z’s “Dear Summer” followed by Donnie Hathaway’s “Someday We’ll All Be Free”. I sometimes find myself sitting up until 3am because there was a special on Leonardo Da Vinci on the History Channel that I started watching when “The Wire” went off at 1am. Not to mention that while watching “The Wire”, I was TiVo-ing the season finale of “Sex And The City”.
This all came to pass back in the late 80′s and early 90′s when I was running around the Bowles Park housing project all week, but in Welcome Baptist Church every Saturday and Sunday. This duality is beautifully constructed to give someone the vicious malcontent of a pit bull, but also inject him with the compassion of a Good Shepard tending to his flock.
There are many critics to my writing. I’ve heard on several different occasions that my opinion pieces suggests that I have a problem with black women. Some people say I must have been hurt by someone so deeply that I will never be able to love properly. But anyone who has seen me with my daughter knows this is absurd. Anyone who knows me closely knows I gave up a life in New York City to come back home and take care of my ailing grandmother who was in the twilight of her life. These facts don’t seem to be aligned with a woman bashing, female hating pig. The fact is my opinion is ever evolving. As I evolve, so will my thought process, and so will the random complexity. So while this makes me a nightmare to try to figure out, it also gives me the flexibility to appeal to at least 4 of your 5 (known) senses. Adversely, it also means I probably have a strong opinion about something your passionate about that will make you hang up on me at least once a month.
Honestly, I have no intention to change this. I am happy to be made up equal parts of Biggie and Thelonius Monk. I’m just as much Julia Roberts as I am Sanaa Lathan. I have just as much Patti LaBelle in me as I do Bette Midler. I listen just as much John Mayer and Kings of Leon as I do Drake and J. Cole. I would love to eat dinner with Malcolm X, but I would eat lunch with Bobby Kennedy on that same day.
This was just a random glimpse…look quickly, I’m evolving faster than expected!
-WaTeR
Archive for June, 2011
The Makings of Me
Posted in Beautifully Random with tags Black America, Culture, Hip-Hop, Reflect, Sociology on June 28, 2011 by SpokenWaterTop 5 Misconceptions About Black Men
Posted in Reggie's Opinion with tags black men, black people, black women, love, marriage, relationships on June 27, 2011 by SpokenWater5) That we are not emotional!
We are actually very emotional but we show it in primitive ways. Our “I love you” comes in various forms…more often than not, its comes NON-VERBALLY
4) That our silence means there is something wrong!
Sometimes we just wanna be still for a second. It has nothing to do with our love for you. Often times our everyday lives will test us in ways that we are not equipped to express accurately. At these times, we just need time to reflect without talking OR LISTENING!!!
3) That we cheat because we have fallen out of love!
Although it may seem foul to say, sometimes men cheat simply because we had access to another woman. One of the most natural things a man will do is seek out that which he desires. Most times the desire is temporary, or just simply trying to quench a thirst. Those men that have figured out how to abstain from cheating do not have more control than other men, they simply do not put themselves in positions where their resolve is tested. So simply put, A MAN IS ONLY AS LOYAL AS HIS OPTIONS…but indulging in another woman does not mean he does not love his own.
2) That we have to be in charge!
This is a huge misconception. A man will willingly follow a woman’s lead…IF SHE CAN TRICK HIM INTO BELIEVING THAT HE IS THE ONE LEADING! What she cannot do is lead and tell him every chance she gets that he should just fall back and let her lead. This is an uncomfortable position to put a man in because it will make him feel that he has lost his way. But cleverly disguised…a man will follow you…ALL THE WAY DOWN THE AISLE!
1) That we like fast women!
Women put too much stake into who a man is sexing. Men like playing with fast women. Some of them even like the chaos of having a fast mistress (or baby mama). But ALL MEN SEEK PEACE IN THEIR HOME. And the older we get, the more we realize that women who party all the time, and lack the traditional skills of the pre-modern homemakers…do not make good mates. So although you may see men in the streets in the faces of some of the most non-traditional women…they almost always go home to the woman who was able to provide peace and comfort in his life (no matter how fat or unattractive she may be)!
